Last updated on November 13th, 2019
Ah love. In popular culture you either fall in it or fall out of it. But I’m here to tell you today that the truth is, Christians don’t fall in love. Some of you reading this might say, “Wait a second! I’m a Christian, and I’ve fallen in love!” Well, while you may describe your personal emotional experience as falling in love, what I’m specifically telling you is that does not reflect the teachings and examples we have before us in scripture. Let’s consider the descriptions we’re given of love.
Many of you are probably familiar with the love passage in 1 Corinthians 13.Verse 4 through 7 states, “4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Note that we have no description of love being a random emotional occurrence that you just somehow fall into. We have a list of character qualities that one must exemplify. Love is a choice made to exemplify these qualities to someone and it’s not on the basis of whether you feel it or don’t feel it.
Now as Christians, we’re called to love everyone as we love ourselves as Jesus stated being the second most important command in scripture behind loving God. Therefore as a male or female Christian, you are already to have love for all people regardless if they’re your biological family or not, or if you’re in a close relationship with them or not, or whatever. That’s my duty and your duty as an act of obedience to God. Certainly there is a stronger distinction of love on a husbands part that can be found in Ephesians 5:25-33. The level of love a man must choose to give to a woman that becomes his wife must be to the extent that Christ loved the church.
To say love is an intentional choice is not to discount that one does have physical attraction and admiration for someone that would lead them to want to have marriage love with a particular person. We have the case of Jacob and Rachel where Rachel was noted to have been beautiful in form and face, and right after that verse, it states Jacob loved her. It was somewhat similar when Abraham’s servant found a wife for Isaac in Rebekah. Her beauty is noted when the narration first introduces her to the story, and perhaps was what caught the servant’s initial attention to her potentially being a wife for Isaac. In the instance of Ruth and Boaz, Ruth made herself look nice before going to Boaz, but also did a kind act by laying at his feet and not at the feet of a younger man. He admired that in her and that set off the chain of events that eventually led to him acquiring all that belonged to Elimelech and taking Ruth as his wife.
So these variables can be what leads one to make a choice to want to choose someone as a spouse to love in the form of which is conducted in a marriage. But it’s not a magical random force of emotion that should be the indicator of your love of someone to the level of desiring them as your spouse. I stress the situation being about choosing a spouse, because I’ve shared with my long time readers my views on modern cultural dating in contrast to how people got married in scripture here. But in general, as followers of Christ living in obedience to God, we make the choice to love everyone around us in abiding in the scriptural instructions of how we treat people. After that choice, any desire of love to the level of forming a marriage is not something that comes from an unexplainable eventual emotional realization, but comes out of a choice one makes in a particular person they are attracted to and admire, as seemingly apparent by the examples we have in scripture.
As always, any thoughts or questions, feel free to share them with me and other readers for the sake of our collective elevation of knowledge in living as followers of Christ. If this post enlightened you in anyway, I would greatly appreciate if you shared this among your social media circle so others can be enlightened as well. Peace to all those who are in Christ.